What is up with this Cobalt shaming on the FP?

"DOMdotCOM" (DOMdotCOM)
06/05/2014 at 12:58 • Filed to: None

It is pretty terrible that the FP'ers have resulted to Cobalt shaming. So what if we bought the car, it doesn't mean we are any less "jalop" or gearhead than you. Just because we don't own a VW or BMW or whatever doesn't mean anything. It's getting ridiculous that people are hating on Cobalt owners because of the whole fiasco. Every car company has had some type of recall, some worse than others, and shit we can argue that your car is shitty, but that is not what OPPO or what being a jalop is about, its about a unified car culture that respects each other. So here's to Cobalts, and their owners and all jalops, we are in this together. I have a Cobalt SS (the yellow one) and I purchased it with my own money, if that makes me an idiot, then you shouldn't even be on this site.

DISCUSSION (55)

EL_ULY > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:00

What's up will all the automotive shaming all the time on the FP and here.

McChiken116 - Patrick H. > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:01

I think the cobalt SS is cool, the shame is because it killed almost a hundred people!

But your car is very sweet dude. The cobalt SS is always a good show

DOMdotCOM > EL_ULY
06/05/2014 at 13:01

It's pretty ridiculous, aren't we all supposed to be on the same side?

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:01

I like Cobalts. :)

505Turbeaux > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:01

yeah they aren't my cup of tea, but you could pound out a god damned Catera. If you love it, you are Jalop, and get my respect. FTW

Except a Mercury Sable

Coty > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:02

More of the yellow one or I start shaming.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:02

I made this quite some time ago.. I feel it's fitting now.

Kinja'd!!!

macanamera > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:02

We are on the same side, this is just bickering amongst family.

CalzoneGolem > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:02

#frontpageproblems

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > 505Turbeaux
06/05/2014 at 13:03

suuuuure gotta target a Mercury

For Sweden > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:03

#NotAllCobalts

Milky > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:03

Your on Oppo, you'll get less hate for it being a Cobalt. But more for it being stanced, lol.

CalzoneGolem > 505Turbeaux
06/05/2014 at 13:03

But you're still ok with a Ford Taurus right?

EL_ULY > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:03

I try man. Some cars may not be my cup of tea but I never hate or bash on any car or form of motoring (stance, SLAB, beige, etc.) It's just not right to me. If someone doesn't like it, don't comment or spread hate/propaganda

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:04

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

That's the general question I ask myself these days...

505Turbeaux > CalzoneGolem
06/05/2014 at 13:05

100%

Victorious Secret > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:05

The only people that actually judge other people based on what they drive are idiots and they tend to sort themselves out without interference from us.

Worry not on the opinions of sheep.

spanfucker retire bitch > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:06

They're awful vehicles? The Cobalt was an economy appliance-like vehicle that failed at being an economy appliance-like vehicle. Even before this whole recall debacle they were held in very poor light for a litany of reasons which can all be pretty much summed up as "pre-bankruptcy GM."

CalzoneGolem > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
06/05/2014 at 13:06

Hey, 505 told me that he's really into Cougars. So you've got that going for you.

thebigbossyboss > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:07

Not every car is great. I love my Cavalier, but in no way is it a great car.

DOMdotCOM > Coty
06/05/2014 at 13:08

Kinja'd!!!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > CalzoneGolem
06/05/2014 at 13:09

Wrong Cougar I think....

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:09

Got a friend with a 2008 Pontiac G5. Fortunately, the year that doesn't have all this recall BS.

RotaryLover > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:10

Well...it is the FP. This is why I stay on Oppo.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:11

I've never driven the Colbalt. I have heard the SS model was fun though. Can you confirm?

DOMdotCOM > spanfucker retire bitch
06/05/2014 at 13:12

I don't think the SS (Turbo and Supercharged variants) should be held in the same light as you described, I have had my car since brand new, and it has served me dutifully. I beat the shit out of my car and have 131xxx miles on it and its still going strong. Have you driven one?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > spanfucker retire bitch
06/05/2014 at 13:12

The Cobalt SS distills that appliance-like feel and cheapness toward #becauseracecar rice pretensions, adds power, and converts the vehicle into a crap-cannish DoomSled, which is kind of neat as a consequence. It's kind of the Cossie Vega of the 2000s, with less innately wrong with it. IOW, cheap and somewhat unique fun, awfulness on some points notwithstanding.

DOMdotCOM > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
06/05/2014 at 13:14

Honestly its a surprise to anyone who has never been in one or driven one. As funny as it is to say, they handle great (with the LSD option) and are pretty damn fast. If you can find a SS on a used car lot at least take it for a test drive, it'll surprise you. They pull HARD. I am going to finally be selling mine to make way for a hot rod. hahaha

BrtStlnd > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:14

The Cobalt SS is a perfectly capable fwd speed machine, the only thing you should be ashamed of is ruining your car's performance by stancing the shit out of it.

CalzoneGolem > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
06/05/2014 at 13:15

I dunno he said something about driving them hard and I'm pretty sure there was a part about fluid maintenance.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > CalzoneGolem
06/05/2014 at 13:16

yep, don't think that's a Mercury...might be a Venus though...

Mattbob > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:16

I always thought cars that were finicky and had problems were the most jalop of all. Case in point Alfa versus Toyota.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:17

Never mind the cobalt but any car in general. "You picked the wrong car so you're terrible at life and fail" is not the mentality we need. Sure is it fun to have Mustang vs Camaro and Audi vs BMW rivalries? Yea why not. But in the end of the day we're all car folk and have a special attachment to that which does more than just take us from A to B. This also leads me to a story I'll be posting that happened to me a few years back, how it haunted me for a while, then how I owned it made it my own. Stay tuned.

DOMdotCOM > BrtStlnd
06/05/2014 at 13:18

bahahahah well my car isn't stanced anymore, but it performed just fine when it waS!

Coty > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:23

Unf.

offroadkarter > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:24

The cobalt SS and SRT4 neons are tarted up economy cars just like the sentra SE-R and Civic SI. yes, both are very quick but lets not forget where they came from.

The cobalt was built as a tupperware A-B car, just like the corolla. I don't see much corolla love around here either.

DOMdotCOM > offroadkarter
06/05/2014 at 13:30

But I also don't see corolla's or str-4s or civics or sentras lapping the ring faster than STi's, Evos, and M3's.

offroadkarter > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:31

STi's and EVO's are also tarted up economy cars, just to a higher level

since when did a cobalt SS outrun a E90 M3 on the ring?

Garrett Davis > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:31

"Just because we don't own a VW or BMW or whatever doesn't mean anything."

Do you know Jalopnik at all?

Honestly, you were doomed from the start. What you need to do is buy one or more of the following:

One of the ST twins (the Master Race)

A Miata

An older Volvo wagon

Something brown with a diesel and a manual transmission

Anything old and RWD (or ironically FWD)

Not a Cobalt

But seriously, it doesn't matter what you drive, just that you're a real enthusiast and preferably don't do asshat things like street race and park across multiple spaces. Also, you'll get extra cred if you have the turbo SS, "meh" cred for the supercharged version, and 500 points permanent negative cred for the NA model. You might get stabbed for one of those.

Take this from me, as I had another hated car on here, the 318ti. I got tons of shit for that car, not near as much as a Cobalt will, but plenty. Just enjoy your ride, man. That's what being an enthusiast is all about. The standard Cobalt was a shitbox, but the (turbo) SS is a total sleeper and punches well above its weight. You have to keep in mind as well that 90% of that segment was absolute shit at the time. That generation Focus was terrible, the Civic was (still is) a shell of its former self, and anything coming out of Korea was still crap (Edit: everything except Mazda, the 3 and Protege were great). When you consider all that, the Cobalt doesn't look so bad now. Hell, I'd take a turbo SS over any model Cruze.

At the end of the day, it could be worse. You could drive an SRT4 Neon — imagine all the shit you get now, multiplied by 14.

Garrett Davis > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:33

Cite your source on that one, please.

505Turbeaux > CalzoneGolem
06/05/2014 at 13:35

drive it hard, put it away wet

Garrett Davis > For Sweden
06/05/2014 at 13:36

I lol'd.

DOMdotCOM > offroadkarter
06/05/2014 at 13:46

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_N…

cobalt is at 8.22, check whats under it, and I never said e92.

offroadkarter > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:52

I see its slower than a E46 by .85 seconds, am I missing the E36 entry or something?

its also slower than an evo 9 around the track

DOMdotCOM > offroadkarter
06/05/2014 at 13:53

My mistake, I thought was faster, but still, .85 seconds slower is not much. The Evo 9 also has 300hp, 4wd, and is considerably more expensive.

offroadkarter > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 13:57

which is why I wouldn't have tried to lump it against that in the first place, its not in that class of car. Its supposed to be going up against the SRT4's, the Si, the SE-R and the GTI.

if the cobalt had an ounce of build quality to it people would probably respect it more, but it really just doesn't. It was mid 00's GM engineering at its finest hour, which was absolutely awful. That is why theirs so much FP hate.

Yet again if I've learned anything from being around stancenation folk its that they <3 haters

CalzoneGolem > 505Turbeaux
06/05/2014 at 14:03

That's what it was!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Victorious Secret
06/05/2014 at 14:06

I used to hate on ricebeater Civics and brotrucks. Then I rode in my friend's shitbox Civic with a CRV engine swap, and it was hilarious dangerous fun since the car was completely falling apart.

Then I drove my friend's lifted F-250 Super Duty and I completely understand the appeal of bro trucks.

It's all about perspective and loving what you drive, even if it is hideously impractical or weird.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > offroadkarter
06/05/2014 at 14:44

I see some small, yet dedicated, corolla, camry, accord, W-body, and taurus love with some frequency.

Dagget > spanfucker retire bitch
06/05/2014 at 14:47

How did it fail? Price and mpg were competitive were they not? And what could even touch a Cobalt XFE when it came to economy at the time? It placed mid-pack in every comparison and then suddenly people started making it out to be worse than it ever was and I can't figure out why. My mind boggles.

offroadkarter > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
06/05/2014 at 14:54

we see everything around here but that doesn't make it good

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > offroadkarter
06/05/2014 at 14:59

What's wrong with liking an appliance car for being an appliance? I love my audi but it likes to burst into flames. I loved my riviera but the motor leaked gas and would somehow get water into the gas tank when it rained. Meanwhile my fridge and microwave are, admittedly probably not the *best* fridge and microwave, I feel confident that they will continue to be a nice fridge and microwave for my needs. If I had kids, or other people's health and safety were in my hands, I'd probably have spent my money on something more "appliance like" than my Fiesta ST.

You can think that it isn't good, but that just means it isn't good for you. For other people, that camry might actually be the best damn car for them.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Milky
06/05/2014 at 15:01

I'm stancing a fucking honda odessey for my next project. Or a toyota previa. Maybe a mercury villager. THen, I'm coming onto oppo and introducing it as my stance wagon and tell everyone how it's basically like a wagon but even MORE like a wagon than their volvo wagons because no ride height + hardcore suspension. I know I will be loved and accepted by all.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > DOMdotCOM
06/05/2014 at 22:54

WHAT? NO BROWN MANUAL DIESEL MIATA WAGON? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

There's a reason why I stay away from front page comments. They're all idiots.

The Cobalt was always perfectly fine for what it was. It got from A to B in a semi-stylish manner. The SS just took that perfectly fine car and made it great.

I'm sure I'd be torn to shreds by them if they knew I enjoyed driving a 4000lb FWD CUV more than an E36 328i.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Garrett Davis
06/06/2014 at 08:25

exactly almost every prerecession compact was a shitbox, just slightly varying degrees. The 3 was great, but the base at the time in my area was 2k over a cobalt, and dealers wouldn't budge at all.

before the market crapped dealers were trying to sell compacts with the same profit as a full size, and lots were barely stocked with them, because most people just went for a used full size.